If not tonight... when?

 I can just imagine what is going through the guys mind in this picture. "I wonder if tonight is the night?" I can also just imagine her thoughts. They could be, "This is so nice, just laying here" or "I'm so tired, I may just drift off to sleep right here". We've all been there, haven't we? 

The magic question for a healthy marriage is how often should we have sex. In most cases, men think it should be more than women. If you've been a part of discussions or read articles about how often men and women think about sex, you are aware that men usually think about it 7-10 times a hour. While women on the other hand think about it 7-10 times a month. Why is that? Well lets face it, men and women are different. 

   One of the biggest misconceptions for both men and women is that sex is purely a physical   act. Sexual intimacy is very emotional as well as physical. Here are a couple things we all    have to think about when it comes to sex.

  Men we have to realize that women are like an oven. Sometimes they need to be pre-heated or warmed up to the idea of sex. Their emotional needs have to be taken care of before your physical needs. Think of it this way. If you want brownies you have to buy the mix, add the oil, add the eggs, a little water, mix it up and bake it. Sure you can go to the store and buy a brownie, but its never as good as homemade. The smell of the brownies as they are baking get you in the mood as you begin to think about the end result. Give her the love. Mix up these ingredients, kind words, encouragement, appreciation, compliments, affection before you enjoy the prize. 

Ladies, men are just as emotional even if they don't show it. Men need to know their woman is attracted to them. Trust me even the strongest men have fragile egos. They need to know they are wanted by the woman that loves them. Recently I read a blog by marriage researcher Saunti Feldhahn. She paralleled it this way. What if your man rarely told you he loved you. When he did, he would make it seem like, "I'm tired, but ok, I love you" or "maybe tomorrow I'll tell you I love you". Sort of makes you feel secondary and not that you are his first priority does it? It is the same for your husband. Don't make him feel secondary. Let sex be your idea once in a while. Don't let distractions get in the way. 

Communication plays a huge part in sexual intimacy. Don't be afraid to discuss it with your spouse. Talk about it. Are we having enough sex? Do we feel connected? Is our relationship healthy and growing? If not, adjustments may have to be made.   Enjoy each other! Focus on what is important. 

Your marriage and your sex life will be enriched as you nurture it together.