Most of my blog posts so far have been about marriage. Today however I am posting a family blog about parenting. I love being a parent. I've made mistakes in my parental journey. Watching my children grow up to be adults and parents themselves is fascinating and humbling to say the least. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs and like marriage takes work. They sure are cute when they are babies. Those little eyes are see more than you can imagine. Have you ever felt like you are being watched. Is someone there? As you begin to feel a bout of paranoia, you very quickly realize your children are watching every move you make. From infancy and even throughout adulthood your children are observing, learning, digesting almost every single thing we as parents do and say. So what are they learning?
I will often ask a parent how they feel about their children growing up to be just like them. Some parents ponder the question before answering. They may respond by saying they want more for their children, some very quickly say "NO! I don't want them to be anything like me" My next question is sometimes harder to answer. I ask them simply "Why?" Many parents do not realize how much of an influence they have on their children. The old saying "Do as I say, not as I do!" should be thrown out with the trash. Your children are going to remember your actions, your character, your morals and values more than your words.
You may want to ask yourself, "what are the qualities you want to see in your children growing up?" What values do you want to see your children have when they are adults? How do you want them to treat their children? How do you want them to treat their future spouse?
Here are just a few character traits children see and will learn from their parents.
Respectful - If you are pulled over by a law enforcement officer because, well let's face it you were in fact speeding. How do you treat the officer? Do you show them respect? Are you kind to officer even though you are frustrated, in a hurry, and aggravated because the last thing you need today is a ticket. When you feel your child was not treated fairly by their teacher, do you call or visit the teacher and speak harshly without hearing the teachers point of view. If you do listen to the teacher, but still disagree, are you respectful? How do you treat your own parents? With love, honor and respect? What about your spouse? Are you training your child to be the best wife or husband they can be? Your child is watching and downloading every word. Because, when they grow up they most likely act and talk just like you.
Responsibility - If you commit to something, do you follow through? It's your turn to work the concession stand at the little league field. It's has been a long hard day. You are exhausted. You think "it won't matter if I'm there, they will be just fine without me" Will they? Are you late to well lets just say every place you need to be. It may be time to reassess what you are able to commit to. Lack of responsibility causes stress and anxiety. Children who learn to be dependable at a young age will grow successful. They will become accountable for their actions and disciplined.
Loving/Caring - Being kind to people even if they have wronged you teaches a child the ability to forgive. It is the complete opposite of selfishness. You know what..."It's not about you?" It is about others. We all want to be loved! If we give love and care for others we will receive love. Do our children see examples of appreciation from us? Even for the
smallest act of kindness. Is your house a loving environment? Do you treat each other with love and kindness? Being an example of love and generosity to a child goes a long way into their adult lives.
Honesty - Being an man or woman of integrity speaks volumes to our children. The cashier at the gas station gave us back too much change. How do you respond!! Woo hoo....Bonus! Remember the little eyes are watching. Those eyes love you and all your actions. They want to grow up to be just like you. If you want your child to be honest with you, it is crucial you are honest with them.
Even if you may think you are doing everything right, remember they are children. There will be bumps and curves on the journey. They are not perfect, (neither are you), they will make mistakes. Being the best example we can be will help them along the way. 